Wedding Gift Etiquette: Your Complete Guide To Gifting

How do you build a wedding gift list that both you and your guests will love? It's a fair question - if you're like most people, you won't have put together a gift list since you last penned a letter to Father Christmas. Now you’re engaged and suddenly you're tasked with curating a list full of dream gifts, which could feature anything from homewares to unique experiences. In this article, we take you through the key wedding gift etiquette points you should know before you start.

Q: Should I Send a Gift if I Am Not Attending the Wedding?

A: Couples will never expect their guests to buy them a gift, what they really want is to celebrate with you on their special day. But if for whatever reason, you're unable to attend their wedding, it might be nice to gift them something special to let them know that you're still thinking of them - especially if you were invited to the entire wedding service. It doesn't need to be anything grand. Each wedding gift, big or small, on the couple's gift list will be something they've picked out personally. 

Q: What if I Can’t Afford Anything on Their Registry?

A: You should never feel pressured into spending more than you had planned to on a wedding gift. At The Wedding Shop, we always encourage couples to pick gifts from different price brackets. This ensures that you'll have plenty of gift choices, allowing you to decide how much you'd like to spend. 

With The Wedding Shop, couples also have the option to turn on Group Gifting. Group gifting allows multiple guests to contribute towards the price of the more luxurious items, such as furniture pieces. This way, couples get to have the big ticket items of their dreams and guests get to spread the cost amongst themselves.

Q: I’m Spending Money Travelling to the Wedding. Do I Need To Buy a Gift Too?

A: You should never feel obliged to buy a gift. The couple will be so grateful that you are travelling to see them on their special day. A wedding gift should come from the heart. If you would still like to give them something and don't have a big budget to spend, choose something small from their gift list. Or, if they have group gift options or cash funds selected, contribute an amount that you feel comfortable with. 

Remember, every gift on the couple's list will have been selected carefully. Each present, big or small, will be meaningful to them. You will also have the chance to write a personal message with your gift, so you can congratulate them for tying the knot.

Q: Can I Buy Something That Isn’t on Their Gift List?

A: Building a gift list takes time and consideration. The happy couple will have sat down together to think about the things they really want and need. Their list is a collection of their taste, priorities and wishes for their newly married life. With this in mind, we always recommend finding a gift from their gift list. You'll be helping them invest in their future, and they'll truly appreciate the present you choose, no matter how big or small.

Q: How Much Money Should I Spend on a Wedding Gift?

A: Your gift, whether homeware, experience or cash, will form a meaningful part of the couple's newly-married life. It's not about the money spent, but the part you've played in their future. With that in mind, you should never feel bound to spend a certain amount on a gift, or even to buy one in the first place. The most important thing to the bride and groom will be you! They'll be delighted that you're celebrating their wedding day with them. And if you'd like to buy them something special, their wedding gift list is there, brimming with presents to help them build their married life and beyond.

Are you still unsure about how much money to spend on a gift? We've put together some guidelines based on different wedding guest types.

Q: When Should We Set Up Our Gift List?

A: It's never too early to start your gift list! You'll want to explore all the hundreds of wedding gift ideas and sit down with your other half to determine what you both want and love. You'll need to set your gift list live by the time you send your formal wedding invitations. Why? Because some guests will want to buy you a gift as soon as they open your invitation. You'll want to ensure they're directed to your gift list before they go off-list and buy you something you don't want. 

Setting your gift list live means your guests can view your gifts. If you haven't completed your list, that's fine! You'll still be able to add and edit it once it's live. Just ensure there's enough choice so guests can comfortably choose a gift.

Q: What Do We Put On Our List?

A: Your Wedding Shop gift list will be as unique as you are as a couple! Essentially, there are no rules. So, take your time to explore all the options and browse homewares from over 450 brands, experiences and funds. 

The only thing to be mindful of is your gift selection - it's best to keep it varied and include gifts that span all price brackets. This ensures that your guests have plenty of options to pick from, whatever their budget. The last thing you want is a guest buying you a present at the last minute and only having a few products to pick from. So keep your gift list topped up and add more than you think you need!

Q: We’re Having a Destination Wedding. Should We Still Set Up a Gift List?

A: To answer this question, we asked a real Wedding Shop couple,  Alexandra and Edward, their thoughts. Alexandra and Edward had a destination wedding where their guests paid for their own travel. They included a note in their wedding invitations to let their guests know they weren't expecting any gifts.

However, some guests, especially close friends and family, still wanted to give them something to mark their special day! They decided to prepare a gift list that they could send to those guests directly. Building a gift list allowed Alexandra & Edward the opportunity to pick gifts they loved while allowing those who wished to, to buy them something special. A win-win for all!

If you feel your guests have gone above and beyond, why not send them a thank-you gift? For those who have helped make your big day happen, such as your bridal squad, gifting them something to show how much you appreciate them is a lovely gesture. Think about personalised gifts, such as bath salts in your guest's favourite scent, a custom-stamped ring dish or an engraved flask.

Q: Should We Use Our Gift List For Both Celebrations?

A: If you've decided to have two celebrations, your guests will still want to gift you something to celebrate. Some may even choose to gift you on both occasions! (Lucky you!)

Top tip: when setting up your gift list, we recommend updating your wedding date to the celebration furthest away. If this date is not confirmed, add a placeholder while you wait. Doing this ensures that your guests have plenty of time to pick a gift.

Q: How Can We Ensure Guests Don’t Go ‘Off List’?

A: Unfortunately, you can’t always ensure that your guests stick to your list. Some people might prefer to give you a treasured family heirloom, something homemade or something they feel you will particularly love. We find that the best way to encourage guests to stay ‘on-list’ is by choosing a wide range of items at various price points, so your guests have plenty of choices! To help you get started, explore our collections of gifts different guests love to give, from bridesmaids and groomsmen to siblings, grandparents and parents. 

Q: Is It Okay To Ask Guests for Honeymoon Contributions?

A: Definitely! Many couples ask for honeymoon contributions. It's a way for your guests to be a part of one of the most unforgettable holidays of your life! They'll help you to create memories you'll cherish forever. 

The Wedding Shop works with some incredible travel partners so that you can create a personal travel itinerary. Build a honeymoon list filled with personalised activities and funds, allowing your guests to know where their contribution is going. From luxury accommodation and culinary classes to an island cruise for two.

Some guests may still want to give you a physical gift. With this in mind, we recommend mixing funds with products. Choose presents to elevate your honeymoon, such as a stylish new suitcase, camera or other honeymoon essentials.

Q: We Have Everything We Need Already. Should We Still Have a Wedding List?

A: Many guests, even if you specifically ask them not to, will still want to give you something on your wedding day. Wedding gifting is a lovely tradition that is not showing any signs of fading! In fact, our survey shows that 99% of all wedding guests want to buy the happy couple something to mark their special day. 

With that in mind, we recommend setting up a gift list, even if you already have everything you need for your home. A gift registry with The Wedding Shop lets you add a huge range of gifts, from physical items to experiences and cash funds. 

So, if upgrading your house with beautiful homeware isn't filling you with joy, why not create a honeymoon fund? You can even add personalised experiences for your guests to buy, such as a snorkelling fund. Or, use your gift list to give to a charity close to your heart. The options are endless, and creating a gift list means that you won't receive gifts you don't need or love.

Q: We’ve Fallen for a Particular Item, but It’s Expensive. What Should We Do?

A: Don't fret! If you've fallen in love with something a little more luxurious (and a little more spenny), guests can contribute towards the overall price using The Wedding Shop's Group Gifting function. Yup, Group Gifting lets you add higher-priced items without expecting your guests to pay for it all! Your guests can contribute as much as they wish towards it. So go ahead - add that stunning velvet sofa that would look perfect in your sitting room. We dare you!

Q: Can We Ask For Cash?

A: Absolutely! But be smart about it. Some guests prefer not to gift cash as it can feel a little impersonal. However, with The Wedding Shop, you can personalise your cash funds. Add images and descriptions to let your guests know exactly how you'll be using their contribution. Personalising your funds takes the cold, hard cash out of the equation and lets your guests know you'll be using their gift for something meaningful and specific.

Top tip: if you're asking for cash, why not make it cute! A little poem is guaranteed to raise a smile - here’s one of our favourites:

“The most important gift to us is to have you share our day,
but should you wish to contribute in some other way,
then help us on our honeymoon in our chosen paradise,
a little extra spending money would be really nice.”

Related: Wedding Gift List Wording Examples

Q: Is It Okay To Ask Guests for Honeymoon Contributions?

A: Definitely! Many couples ask for honeymoon contributions. It's a way for your guests to be a part of one of the most unforgettable holidays of your life! They'll help you to create memories you'll cherish forever. 

The Wedding Shop works with some incredible travel partners so that you can create a personal travel itinerary. Build a honeymoon list filled with personalised activities and funds, allowing your guests to know where their contribution is going. From luxury accommodation and culinary classes to an island cruise for two.

Some guests may still want to give you a physical gift. With this in mind, we recommend mixing funds with products. Choose presents to elevate your honeymoon, such as a stylish new suitcase, camera or other honeymoon essentials.